My name is Alana. Ever since I came back from a trip with my friends, I have been having the same dream over and over again. I remember the first night of that dream. I got home that afternoon from the airport, and I was exhausted. Instead of resting, I decided to put my belongings away and organized my items. By the time night fell, I relaxed in my bed and slowly started to drift into sleep. The dream in the beginning was hazy. You know how dreams are sometimes when you can remember some parts and get confused at others, well, this dream was just like that. I remember my eyes opening and seeing the dark starry night sky above me. I sat up in wonder and looked at my surroundings. I was in the middle of a forest. There was no one in sight. You couldn't hear anything except for rustling leaves from the slight breeze. It was too dark for my eyes to see much, and the illumination of the moon barely lit the ground. Unfortunately, I didn't have on shoes so the cold dirt and grass made my body shiver. As I walked towards no destination in sight, I remember thinking to myself "I'm dreaming, but I can't wake up." I don't know if I really wanted to anyways. I was conscious enough to know I was dreaming, but at the same time I was too curious to even wake up. As I walked quietly in the forest, I heard a branch snap behind me. Turning around, I didn't see anything, not even an animal. I decided not to think much of it and kept walking aimlessly ahead. "Is there no end to this forest?" I thought to myself. However, as I got impatient and colder, I began to get scared. It seemed like the forest was getting darker and with each step I took I was slipping deeper into it. Besides, I felt like something was watching me. My heart began to race rapidly, and I decided to run. Dreaming, however, does not go your way sometimes. Instead of running quickly, I was moving at such a slow pace. I heard a low growl behind me as I kept moving forward. It was so close that I'm sure whatever that growl belonged to could have hurt me. As I looked behind, I was confused to see nothing there. I turned back around but had the air knocked out of me as something heavy and strong tackled me to the ground. I woke up in my bed with my heart racing and cold sweat on my body. I looked over at the time and it says 12:00 a.m.
The next day, I didn't think much of the dream at all. It didn't cross my mind until night fell and I was laying in bed. I woke up again at the same spot I was in the dream the night before. Just like last night, the forest was dark. I was alone, I was barefoot, and I kept walking with no sense of direction. I knew what was going to happen. Some creature was going to tackle me again, but this time I saw it clearly. It had large canine teeth, it was fast, and had fur all over its body. It was a wolf. This time instead of tackling me, it was circling around me. What did it want? Why is this happening? I stood frozen in fear and trepidation. However, instead of hurting me, the wolf circled one last time and trotted off. Before it disappeared behind some trees and bushes, it turned around to glance at me. I frowned in confusion. Does it want me to follow it? With some hesitation, I decided to follow and disappeared behind the large bushes but instead I woke up in my bed. Darkness in my room filled my vision as I glanced at the time. It read 12:00 a.m.
The third night, my dream started the same. Except now I'm not as afraid anymore. This time instead of the wolf scaring me, it appeared from the behind the bushes and trees calmly. I walked up to it and cautiously reached out my hand to its head. It sat still with its eyes shining from the moonlight as I my hand reached closer and closer. Then with my eyes clenched closed I finally felt the soft fur behind its ears. I opened my eyes in shock and awe as I giggled and caress the wolf's head. The wolf then turned around to go back to the bushes the night before. This time I followed behind quickly as it trotted peacefully through the woods. In the dark woods my eyes caught something small and bright flying around. "Fireflies," I thought. Then we reached a clearing. The view stole my breath away as I observed the scenery in front of me. In this area you could see the moon perfectly and the light reflected off the lake. The stars shone brightly and were scattered across the sky above. Why did it lead me here? The wolf laid down on the sand in front of the lake staring off into the distance. I sat down next to it admiring the scene ahead of me. After a few moment of silence, I turned to glance at the wolf and my breath was knocked out of me. Instead of the wolf, I saw a woman with long hair swaying slightly with the breeze. "Mom?" I asked. She turned to look at me and smiled sadly. Tears filled my eyes as my heart raced, but before I could say anything, I woke up in my bed again. I sighed in exhaustion and regret. I wiped the tears that trailed down my face and looked at the time. Again, it read 12:00 a.m.
The next night, I couldn't wait until it was time to go to bed. I wanted to dream the same dream again. I wanted to know why I saw my mother. I wanted to know what all of this meant. My mother passed away when I was 11 years old from a horrible car accident. It was unexpected and completely destroyed my family and myself at the time. Why after all of these years, after wishing upon stars and praying to see her in my dreams, she suddenly appears now? I laid in bed and closed my eyes eager to sleep and hopefully see my mother again. This time in my dream, I didn't wake up in the middle of the woods. I actually woke up where the dream was left at the lake. I woke up on the sand and looked around me searching for my mother and the wolf. I stood up and looked around trying to find traces of them and waited to see if they showed up. A moment later I heard someone call out my name. I turned to the voice and saw my mother walking on the sand by the lake behind me. Her long hair was blowing in the wind and the dress she wore the day she passed away moved from the slight breeze. I ran to her as she stood and stretched out her arms. I cried with silent tears as I held her tightly. She caressed my head while saying how much she missed me. After a while, I finally calmed down. "Why suddenly now do you appear in my dreams after all of these years?" I asked her. She smiled sadly and said "It just wasn't the right time." She told me that she can finally see me in my dreams after trying for many years. She doesn't know why that is, but maybe the time is significant somehow. We decided to not waste time and spent the dream with me telling her hw my life was so far. I told her how High School went, how I graduated from college, how great my friends are, and many more things as we laughed at my stories. Then from a distance, howls echoed through the dark night. My mother sighed and smiled at me. "I guess it's time for me to go back," she said. I glanced at her and my eyes watered. "Already?" I asked. She nodded her head and told me she was sorry. "I know it's been many years now. I'm sorry to have brought back the memories of me after all of this time. Just live well and be happy. That's all I ever wanted for you. I love you," she said as she hugged me tightly. Tears fell down as I hugged her back. She waved goodbye as she disappeared behind some trees. Then suddenly a wolf jumped out and howled at the moon. With one more glance at me, the wolf decided to run off deep into the woods. I woke up in my bed and sighed. The clock on my bed stand again read 12:00 a.m.
The next morning, I got a package sent from my father who just recently moved to a different state with Charlotte, my step mother. I opened the package and read the letter that was at the top.
"Alana,
I found these items as I was unpacking my belongings. I forgot about them over these years, but they belonged to your mother. There is a watch that she wore that is broken and stopped at 12:00 a.m. This happened when your mother and I went out on a date one night and it slipped off her wrist when we were dancing, but she kept it since it was something given to her by your grandmother when she graduated from college. Another item is a small stuffed wolf plushie that you would carry around everywhere with you when you were 2. For some reason, you just wouldn't let it go and demanded to take the toy with you to school, to events, and anywhere else you could think of. One day you got it dirty and she washed it for you, but it got lost somewhere in the house and then you forgot all about it. I guess your mother found it one day and kept it. The last thing I found is her journal. I've never read it so I don't know what's in there, but I'm sure she would love for you to have it. Do what you want with these items, and I will let you know if there is anything I else I find that was hers.
Love, Dad"
After the last dream of my mother saying goodbye, it didn't repeat anymore. I guess I didn't want it to anyways. I don't want to think of her as wolf wandering around in the woods. I want her to be able to live as whatever or whomever she wants. I hope where ever she is that she herself is happy. I decided to get her watch fixed and right now I am wearing it as I eat brunch with my friends. I smiled as I glanced at the watch on my wrist. I am deliriously happy watching my friends laughing. With the sun shining down and good food on the plate in front of me, I couldn't ask for anything more. So Mom, I hope you see me now. I am living well and I am so happy. Even when there are days or moments when things get hard, I know I can pass it. I know you'll be there cheering me on no matter how much time has passed. I will live life happily like you want me too.
